If I had a dime for every time I heard, “OMG I can’t believe you’re letting her go that far away!”, I’m sure I’d have enough for the family contribution portion of next year’s tuition. Yes, I gave my approval for my daughter to 1) graduate high school a year early and 2) accept the offer to attend her dream school 1,000 miles away.
The original plan was for me to move so I could be closer, not exact, but closer to her campus. She’s 16 years old and when school starts will be 17 years old. It’s not ideal but also not rare for some students to start college young. As a single mom, yes I want to be close in the case something happens and as she’ll still be a minor I can swoop in like supermom and save the day. We all want to protect our children, but also must remember they have to grow up. I have to trust that I’ve raised her to know right from wrong, be aware of her surroundings, and to be judgmental when needed.
So I’m staying put, for now. My anxiety is higher than ever and I’ve cried from the smallest thing of seeing the passenger side airbag off because the seat is empty. This will be a new adventure for both of us. Navigating life without one another on a daily basis will be different. I’m told it will be exciting. I think it’ll be harder than anything.
The last 16 years has just been the two of us. We have lived in five different states and adjusted to new environments. Friendships were made and some lost due to longer distances each time. There were even times where I would question my motives. But everything done was in order to honor the vow I took when I gave birth to her.
I promised to be the best mom I could be even though I had no one to teach me. I promised to be a provider and let her want for nothing. I promised to be a good friend and teacher to expose her to continuous learning. I promised not to do the baby talk because she was a person and an amazing gift from God. I promised to keep her alive because there were definitely times I had no clue what I was doing. I promised we wouldn’t move once high school started. I promised if she was accepted to her dream school Great, if they pay for it who am I to say no. I’ve done my job; I’ve kept my promises. And now its time to prepare for the step of letting her fly so she can soar.
But before that day in August, I’ve set a new list of promises.
- I promise to take her to Walt Disney World at least 10 times before leaving for college.
- I promise to be in as many pictures for precious memories.
- I promise to have a few sleepovers in the living room even though the couch isn’t comfortable for long sleeps.
- I promise to binge watch the Star Wars timeline one last time.
- I promise to eat Jeni’s ice cream even though my stomach says no.
- I promise to enjoy Bento bubble tea at least once every two weeks (maybe more).
- I promise to cry during birthday week. We’re five days apart which explains a lot about her life goals and the person she is.
- I promise to teach you all the line dances so you’re ready for the first cookout on campus.
- I promise to buy groceries every week because it’s summer and kids gotta eat.
- I promise to always love and cherish our time together and be thankful that God chose me to be your mom.
Countdown to Cornell University begins now.
Mommy Daughter Adventures 