Hi. I’m Kelli.
I’m the mother of 1 teen girl.
I’m a sister, aunt, and friend.
I’m a Christian.
I have a Bachelor in Business Administration with an emphasis in Marketing and an integral in International Business.
I have a Masters in Kinesiology with an emphasis in Athletic Administration.
I live a pescatarian lifestyle.
I like sports.
I’ve been truly blessed to have a career in the fields I actually went to school for.
My favorite color is pink (don’t judge me Sorors).
And I’m a Black woman living in America.

The last few weeks have been nerve wrecking. Hearing the news of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, and so many others hurts to the core. Working in athletics, I’ve always been aware of the double handicap of gender and race I carry, but it’s more present these days. What’s also present are new types of questions shared by my teenage daughter as well as the teenage and young adult students I work with. It hurts not being able to fully answer all of their questions because I can’t answer them fully for myself. 

For example, are we safe in our home? This comes from the sad story of Breonna Taylor. Another black woman that had strong personal and professional qualities, but was killed in her home and while sleeping. The news reports say it was a case of mistaken identity. C’mon Bruh. Would’nt you think that before police bust into someone’s home, a meeting of all parties involved would’ve occurred. Or is that just what we see on television? And why has it taken so long for the mistake to be addressed? Is it because a) no one wants to acknowledge that they truly messed up?, and/or b) she was just another black life lost?

How as a parent am I to answer that question when again I don’t have the answer for my own sanity. Our resumes, top ten facts about us, or even the aesthetically pleasing Instagram posts are not the first thing others think of when they see me. I’m a Black woman living in America. And because of that, there are things I’m constantly aware of. 

As mentioned earlier, I work in athletics. And not the typical recreational sports within your local community center. I have been truly blessed to work within departments of Power 5 conferences at the Division I collegiate level. Yeah, I’m like that. But to be that girl, I have had to work twice as hard to earn promotions to increase my status and my salary. And while doing it making decisions between being good at my job and a good mother. It feels at times, women working with male sports are always judged on maintaining their families. And being a single Black mother, the stereotypical comments were heard more. So having to prove that I could be not only a good worker, but an asset to the program while also being an amazing single mother, became my goal. 10+ years later, I know my worth and my employer does as well. But to those that are outsiders of the program, I’m still one of the few black females in the building.

If you’re another Black woman reading this, I know you feel me when I say, “Oops, wrong Black girl!” Throughout my career and even in college, I have been one of maybe five black women in the department; and sometimes less than that. I’ve been copied on emails meant for colleagues because they couldn’t remember which Black girl worked with a specific team. I’ve been Googled because a faculty member of a university did not believe I could have the Masters degree I earned and be working in the position I was in at the time. My name doesn’t match my Blackness I guess. Again, the first thing they see is a young Black woman.

The blueprint instilled in me is to embrace the strength of my ancestors. From Barbara to Mary and Virginia, and definitely Mamie, I feel like Rey at the end of the Rise of Skywalker; “I am one with the force and the force is with me”. They are my force. Through them I can prepare the next generation with the tools to continue to fight to be not only the Black woman in the room and/or at the table, but to just be the best person in the room and/or at the table. I look forward to the minds of the youth (I’m not in that category anymore); especially the thoughts of my Mini Me. But we have to take a deep breath, swallow our pride, clear our minds, and listen to them. Generation Z has grown up in the world when change actually occurred. They are the most diverse group in history to date and have a deep understanding of how technology can transform the way we work and live.

So what are the youth asking during these times of uncertainty. Their questions pertain to the safety of their Black families, their future in classrooms on college campuses, will they ever be seen more than the color of their skin, and overall just WHY?

WHY are there people that love what Black culture produces but not the people?
WHY are athletes told to stick to their sport? Are they not people too?
WHY have Black families not received reparations? We know the government has it as we’ve seen the COVID-19 assistance.
WHY am I the only Black student in my Honors classes?
WHY is academic and career achievement viewed as “you’ve done good for yourself”. Isn’t that what we all strive for?
WHY are people so uncomfortable with acknowledging that Black Lives Matter?

The future will have many uncomfortable conversations. The voices of the youth are being heard. People are actually listening this time. Although it unfortunately is the same message as previous generations, their voice is strong and offers a new perspective to what has been said over and over and over again. Change is scary, but it is the way to new possibilities.