This weekend, the offspring had community service with her school’s National Junior Honor Society (yeah she’s smart 🙂 ). Some of my friends and family start shouting and are very excited for what society calls “a day without kids”. This is supposed to be time that parents get to themselves and enjoy being the person they were before having kids. Or so I’m told.

The offspring is my only child, and I’m blessed that she’s not like other 13 year olds. Every parent thinks their child is unique and special and outstanding so I get some of you reading this may have already rolled your eyes. But my daughter is special. Actually my bond with my daughter is special. Yes we have our tribe, but it’s always been #justthetwoofus.

We have traveled together from Ohio to Indiana, and back to Ohio. Then off to West Virginia, Texas, and now Florida. We’ve both had to be independent at times and more importantly adapt to new surroundings. You may not agree and that’s your opinion but I didn’t do the baby talk with her during the early years. We read books and actually talked as if we were having conversations. Which explains why people who meet her these days are amazed how involved in a convo she is. So I don’t get overly excited on days when I get the “alone time”. I don’t feel as if I need it. Although we are together a lot, we have our separate areas. Our birthdays are five days apart. She really is my mini me. This can be good and bad. We both are aware of our limits and can sense when we are nearing that of each other. I make sure to always have two bedrooms and two bathrooms when apartment shopping and enough space so that we’re not on top of each other ALL. THE. TIME. So the “alone time” isn’t something that makes my day.

It hasn’t always been this way where I can spend lots of time with the offspring. Not because of something bad, but because I was growing in my career. Working in collegiate athletics required a lot of time. I worked around my students schedules which was all the time. The life of a student athlete is different that your traditional college student that attends during the semesters and can go home for summer and each break that is built into the academic calendar. The life of a student athlete is year round, therefore my life in collegiate athletics was year round. And depending on the sport I was with during my career, determined my vacation options. So spending time with the offspring, is something I have prayed for numerous times. She’s entering the teenage stage now and I know I need to be there for her as she needs to be for me.

And why is that a problem. Why is it a problem that I enjoy the time I spend with my daughter. Why do I have to act as if I’m busy doing adult things when she’s not with me. And when I choose to just be alone, why am I shamed for  recognizing my social limits. I admit I am a work in progress and will be the first to decline an invitation out on the town – day or night. That’s just not my thing. Maybe ten years ago, I would’ve been all in to kick it, but not now. Things that were interesting and eye catching ten years ago, don’t have the same pizzazz now. I’ve grown in age and status and appreciate being with myself more. Like I said, I’m a work in progress and have some things I’m trying to make better. And I’m sure there are others that have this same thought.

So the next time you suggest to a friend that they should take advantage of no kids in the house, think about it. More likely they are. It’s just not the way you have in mind.

~Kelli