Since becoming a Mom, I’ve found myself saying things that my mother or aunties would say to me as a child. Sometimes its funny and I have to sit back and laugh at myself. Other times it makes me think of what lesson they were trying to share with me. Of course I had to put my own spin on things when dictating the rules to my own daughter. And my bestie does the same with her daughter. So these are The Mama Rules and I hope you enjoy a laugh as well as some words of wisdom. So let’s begin. . . . . . .

Rule #1 : I’m not your little friend.

The number of times I have heard this and now say it is probably close to infinity and beyond. This can come off harsh as a young child wants their mother to be their friend and may not fully understand the hierarchy in the household. But as children get older, they get it. Or we like to hope they do.

There is a thin line between parent and friend. Some think we can’t be both, but I disagree. Every situation is different but as long as the lines of respect and they are aware of who’s the head of household, it can be great experience. Our situation is it’s just the two of us. I think we do a good job of communicating with each other and acknowledging the parent/child relationship. But we’re entering the teenage years and I’m not ready. But I guess its too late now huh.

I know I’m not alone when I say, the kid is taller than the parent. This can help grow the confidence in our kids. I know when I was younger, it helped me. But it also hurt me. I was taller than my mother and thought that gave me permission to cross that thin line I spoke about earlier. Let’s just say I was quickly reminded, no matter how tall I was, I was not the head of household and I was put back in my place. But being in my place as a child during those times, helped develop the respect and love I had for my mother and all she did for us. And even now that she has passed on, I appreciate all of those lessons even more. Those lessons were the blueprint to how I treat the mother/daughter relationship in my household.

As we enter the teenager years, I find myself saying Rule #1 more. I definitely put my foot down to maintain the parental respect but this is a different day and age with kids. Where as my grandmother would make us pick our own switch for our punishment, I just need to take away the cell phone or Apple TV. Another difference is, although I am her mother, I am her friend. And unfortunately I realized it a bit too late, but my mother was my best friend. I don’t want it to be too late to realize that I’m now someone’s mother AND best friend. I’m not saying I’m the one gossiping about boys and discussing the latest episode of Riverdale or reading the latest Fanfiction. But I am the one that will be the shoulder to cry on, the ear to listen to tough topics about school shootings and lockdown procedures (which she just experienced), the arms to share a hug while standing on my tippie toes, and the heart to give unconditional love. Even when she upsets me 🙂

So no, I’m not the little friend, I’ll be the best friend – now and always.

~KNH